It’s only been a week and yet I have learned so much.
During the last week I have found that I have far more amazing friends than I thought I had. Now, that isn’t to say that I didn’t already know my friends were amazing, because I did. But after this past week of going through a very difficult time, I have found that my friends are the silver lining of a currently miserable situation.
You see, I was dumped. It sounds brutal, the word dumped, it wasn’t. It sounds harsh, it wasn’t. The boy that I loved told me that he no longer felt that way for me.
It hurt. A lot.
I won’t go into the details of what happened (although there isn’t much to it) because that isn’t fair.
Although I will say that I am fine now, I wasn’t then, but I am now. At times I still feel sad about it, sometimes I am angry but most of the time- I’m over it. I’m so over it.
After two years of being in a relationship with someone you’d think it’d take longer to feel ok again. However, honestly, a week later I’m practically me again. I have my friends to thank for that.
I am beyond grateful. They have been there for me, for the late night phone calls, the teary afternoons, the anxiety filled mornings, everything. They have been supportive, accepting, helpful, kind and considerate. They’ve put up with my moaning and ranting and confusion. They’ve helped me feel ok again in such a short space of time. I know now, that no matter what happens in my love life or lack thereof for now, I will always have the most phenomenal people there to help me through.
So thank you.
As for the feeling of first heartbreak, there isn’t much I can say other than it’s s*** to be completely honest. I went for days with a lump in my throat and a weight on my chest. I felt sick to my stomach, I held a constant feeling of dread and I permanently felt light-headed.
He was my first love, first kiss, first everything.
But I regret nothing, the two years we were together were some of the happiest I’ve had. He was an amazing person to be able to share part of my teenage life with and I’m honestly so glad that I got to share it with him. But now, I’m ready to move on, I’ve done my moping. Some days may be harder than others but pretty soon I won’t even think twice when I see him in the corridor at school. I’m practically there already. I don’t feel uncomfortable in the slightest when around him, the first day was the hardest, now I don’t actually care. I’m happy. I do what I want, I talk to who I want. I try my hardest to be as sensitive as possible but to be honest, it wasn’t my decision to end the relationship so I should be able to do as I please now.
I’ve finally had the opportunity to make a decision, even though the end of our relationship was not my decision.
What happens next most definitely is.
Thank you for reading,
let me know your thoughts on first loves, or first heartbreaks, or any other firsts.
Love Jodie x