Tag: ravenclaw

I tried.

Wander through the barren bones,

the empty sockets, the rotting limbs.

Stumble over forgotten memories,

empty promises, stolen dreams.

 

Watch your step as you wade through despair, avoid hopelessness;

it will wait for you there, pounce on you there, wrap it’s arms round you there.

It will drag you downwards, keep you there, trap you there, lose you there.

 

So edge past the brick giants,

their hollow panes,

walk along the desolate lanes.

Dont run, they’ll know.

 

They always know.

 

~ Jodie  x

 

 

The Blighter’s Rock has me inspired, so I thought I would try my hand at poetry.

This is the first poem I have ever written outside of school. It’s not good by any means, but its ok.

I’m not particularly proud of it but I gave it a go- it could be worse.

 

I would love to know what your thoughts are!

Constructive criticism is not only welcome to this post, it is at top of the guest list.

 

Thanks

Love Jodie

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Day Three – Home

They say home is where your heart is set in stone
Is where you go when you’re alone
Is where you go to rest your bones
It’s not just where you lay your head
It’s not just where you make your bed
As long as we’re together, does it matter where we go?

~ Gabrielle Aplin

 

To me, home is somewhere I feel safe and happy. I dont have the easiest home life, my brother has a lot of issues, my sister gets very sad sometimes and my mum is not very well a lot of the time. But there is nowhere else I’d rather be than with them.

Some days all I want is to get out of the house, I want to run and never look back. Some days I wish I lived somewhere else, away from the chaos and stress. But then I remember that without the often chaotic atmosphere, it wouldn’t be home. I wouldn’t feel safe, and loved. and at ease, because home is where my family are.

Home is where my cat waits at the bottom of the stairs for me when I come in. It’s where my soft, blue fairy lights are. It’s where I sing songs with my sister at the top of my lungs, dance around the house in my underwear just because I can. It’s where my brother tells terrible jokes that you can’t help but laugh at. It’s where I can go and lay in my bed with a book and a coffee at the end a bad day. Home is where I want to be.

Maybe it’s the introvert in me, but the majority of the time home is where I wish I could stay. I love going out with my friends and I love doing exciting things, I enjoy going for walks and being out of the house. This is because a lot of the time I can feel claustrophobic in my house given some of the less than perfect circumstances. But I know that none of that means anything when I have my family with me, because we have the most fun ever. My mum, although a lot of people don’t know it, is one of the funniest people I have ever met, my sister is the kindest, most considerate sister in the world, and my brother is the quickest, wittiest 8 year old in existence. They’re all perfect in their own ways despite their flaws and they are where my home is.

 

Let me know what makes a real home for you in the comments!

Love Jodie x

A stream of consciousness

So I decided that I really needed to post something and everything I have tried to write lately has been awful. So I decided to try less with a post and just write down everything that comes into my head in around 10 minutes. I think I’ve been trying too hard for perfection and have forgotten that this blog is just a fun outlet not an obligation. I have done nothing to the words other correct spelling mistakes and add paragraphs for easier reading.

So here is me, completely unedited and unplanned. I hope you get something slightly amusing from it, if anything. Step in to my brain…

 

It’s 9;05am and I am in the best mood ever!

I woke up wanting to sing and dance around the house, so I have. I’m listening to Take That, I love Take That, they make me feel nostalgic because I used to listen to them in the car with my mum when I was little.

I wonder if they ever feel nostalgic and listen to their old albums. I don’t think I could bare that. My voice recorded is horrible, I can’t believe I normally sound like that to people. My voice is so irritating, I don’t know how I have any friends when my voice is such an irritant.  But then again everyone thinks that.

My cat’s here now, Fergus. He’s sitting on my lap purring and trying to get at the keys of my laptop as I type this. Cats make everything better in life, no wonder the ancient Egyptians worshipped them, they’re my saviour when I feel sad. Cats are intelligent they know how to love- Bastille just came on, now I’m thinking about my friend Emily who loves them more than she should.

When we went on a school trip to Barcelona I set Bastille as our alarm so that she’d wake up happy every morning, it worked very well. I turned her into a morning person for that holiday. I have an itch on my forehead. I scratched it.

My phone is buzzing but I can’t be bothered to look at it in case it’s someone I don’t want to talk to because that will stress me out. I get stressed very easily. The music got too loud just now and that stressed me out- I turned it down. I have friends who need help and that stresses me out because I don’t know how to help them. I’m eating sherbet lemons… this calms me down because they are my all-time favourite sweet along with flying saucers. I like sherbet. I’m a sugar addict. I’m also a coffee addict so I have fairly strong coffee with 2 sugars, in case you’re wondering. Speaking of which I’m going to stop typing now because my sherbet lemon has almost dissolved and I want to drink my coffee. I feel like this is a good place to stop.

 

 

Thanks for reading, feel free to comment on my meandering thoughts.

Love Jodie x

A Post For My Friends

It’s only been a week and yet I have learned so much.

During the last week I have found that I have far more amazing friends than I thought I had. Now, that isn’t to say that I didn’t already know my friends were amazing, because I did. But after this past week of going through a very difficult time, I have found that my friends are the silver lining of a currently miserable situation.

You see, I was dumped. It sounds brutal, the word dumped, it wasn’t. It sounds harsh, it wasn’t. The boy that I loved told me that he no longer felt that way for me.

It hurt. A lot.

I won’t go into the details of what happened (although there isn’t much to it) because that isn’t fair.

Although I will say that I am fine now, I wasn’t then, but I am now. At times I still feel sad about it, sometimes I am angry but most of the time- I’m over it. I’m so over it.

After two years of being in a relationship with someone you’d think it’d take longer to feel ok again. However, honestly, a week later I’m practically me again. I have my friends to thank for that.

I am beyond grateful. They have been there for me, for the late night phone calls, the teary afternoons, the anxiety filled mornings, everything. They have been supportive, accepting, helpful, kind and considerate. They’ve put up with my moaning and ranting and confusion. They’ve helped me feel ok again in such a short space of time. I know now, that no matter what happens in my love life or lack thereof for now, I will always have the most phenomenal people there to help me through.

So thank you.

As for the feeling of first heartbreak, there isn’t much I can say other than it’s s*** to be completely honest. I went for days with a lump in my throat and a weight on my chest. I felt sick to my stomach, I held a constant feeling of dread and I permanently felt light-headed.

He was my first love, first kiss, first everything.

But I regret nothing, the two years we were together were some of the happiest I’ve had. He was an amazing person to be able to share part of my teenage life with and I’m honestly so glad that I got to share it with him. But now, I’m ready to move on, I’ve done my moping. Some days may be harder than others but pretty soon I won’t even think twice when I see him in the corridor at school. I’m practically there already. I don’t feel uncomfortable in the slightest when around him, the first day was the hardest, now I don’t actually care. I’m happy. I do what I want, I talk to who I want. I try my hardest to be as sensitive as possible but to be honest, it wasn’t my decision to end the relationship so I should be able to do as I please now.

I’ve finally had the opportunity to make a decision, even though the end of our relationship was not my decision.

What happens next most definitely is.

 

Thank you for reading,

let me know your thoughts on first loves, or first heartbreaks, or any other firsts.

Love Jodie x

 

The Art Of Conversation

You’d think that after 17 years I’d be pretty good at conversing with people… I’m not.

I can’t do it.

It actually terrifies me.

The cycle is always the same. I say the wrong thing, people get offended and I say sorry an excessive amount of times. My heart starts to pound and I can feel my pulse in my ears, all I can hear is a ringing sound and my brain feels like it is working in slow motion.

I honestly just don’t understand how people can talk to each other with ease. I can’t even seem to text people without something going wrong. You know in Mean Girls, Cady talks about ‘word vomit’, I get ‘text vomit’.

I don’t actually think about what I’ve typed before I send it to someone which usually results in annoyance on their part and severe stress and worry on mine. I don’t know why I haven’t learned from my mistakes yet. Perhaps I am incapable.

 

So my question to you is:

How does one converse effectively with other humans?

If you have any advice please let me know.

Love Jodie x